Filed under: Daily Living
As we get older the roles of responsibility of parents and children can begin to shift; sometimes dramatically. Once the parent was responsible for caring for the child, but as the parent reaches their senior years often they require caring for themselves.
The demands of this responsibility on the adult children can range from simply assisting with running errands by chauffering to taking in the parent full time and extensively renovatin the home to accommodate any special needs.
A greater proportion of the population si nearing their senior years and the dilemma of caring for aging parents is growing in significance. Problems of health, finances, long term care become critical when one or both parents are no longer able to care and provide for themselves.
It can be difficult to first broach the subject with an aging parent about their prospects for the future and the topic can bring out a broad range of emotions on behalf of both parties.
The situation may be that the aging child just can not provide full time care and there is no choice but to consider a nursing home or assisted living facility. This can lead to feelings of guilt on the part of the child and feelings of abandonment on the part of the parent.
Providing full time care for an aging parent can consume a great deal of the child’s time and resources. The AARP estimates that those who do will end up spending eighteen hours a week or more providing this assistance. When you consider that the majority of these adult children also have full time jobs then you begin to see the true impact that making that decision carries. The end result can be a whole slew of problems such as stress and frustration.
In the past, caring for aging relatives automatically fell to the female members fo the family but today sons and daughters are face this burden equally.
In today’s society with so many families being fractured by divorce and relocation due to employment, the challenges are greater as the parent who desperately requires the care may not be living in the same part of the country as the available child. This adds the additional element of one of the parties having to possibly move.
Remember that caring for and aging adult does not mean stripping them of their identity and become a full time baby sitter. You just need to assist them with the fundamentals of living that they may be unable to carry out now on their own.
Your best course of action is to talk to others who have been there and try not to feel resentful about the situation that has found you. Try not to fall victim to feelings of resentment or regret, but instead embrace the new opportunity the changed family dynamic offers and make the most of it. After all we all only have so long together, it is important not to squander it with feelings we will regret later.
Healthy Aging 